Daunting
by Wynter Phoenix
Summary: One-shot. Caging a wild thing is never a good idea, so when the time came to break free, I rose to the challenge.


**A/N** **: Been on a Divergent kick for a bit and this just wouldn't leave me alone, so I decided to get it out of my system and do a one shot. Don't worry, I'm working on the next chapter for Burn, so for those of you who have been patiently waiting, hold on just a little bit longer! Quick disclaimer that I don't own the Divergent Series or any of the characters.**

 **Daunting**

The first time I saw a Dauntless member was age 7 and I immediately knew that was the faction I belonged in. The unique appearance, the attitude, the power...it all appealed to me even at such a young age. I went home and proudly announced to my parents that I would one day be Dauntless and couldn't understand why they looked so horrified.

As I got older, living in Erudite became stifling. I was sick of the color blue, of how stuck up and stiff people were - including my family - and how calm and collected you had to be at all times. I wanted to run, to curse, to be loud, and to tell people what I really thought...but that wouldn't, couldn't happen in the faction I had been born into. I was a wild thing living in a cage.

When Choosing Day came, I didn't even hesitate to place my hand over the Dauntless bowl at the ceremony, an odd satisfaction bubbling inside of me when I heard my blood hiss on the hot coals. Making my way into the welcoming arms of my new faction, I glanced over my shoulder to meet the blank eyes of my parents. They had known this was coming. A mutual nod of goodbye was all that was needed before I was swept out the door and towards my future.

In all my life, I never heard one person say Dauntless was easy and stage one of training proved them right. It was harder than I ever could have dreamed. There were times where I wanted to quit, but I was too stubborn to give up no matter how badly I was beaten or how drained I got. I was small and that meant a target on my back - easy pickings. However, I was fast and smart. I learned early on that flat out attacking someone larger was almost suicide, so I tailored my skills to evading, weaving, quick jabs, and wearing my opponent out until I could go in for the proverbial kill.

I butted heads with my one leader, Eric, more often than not and found myself in the training room long after everyone had gone, more than any other trainee. One on one training with him was seen as a punishment - he didn't go easy on you just because you were an initiate. "Learn how to keep your fucking mouth shut," was always his growled mantra. However, I saw the punishment as an advantage. A trip to the med room was guaranteed every time, but in my opinion, the learning experience was well worth it, along with the grudging respect I began to notice in his cold, blue eyes.

With my fighting skill rising, in part because of the two leaders assigned to the new initiates who pushed us to almost inhumane limits, doubled with my 'punishments', I focused on my appearance. My long, red hair had to be cut after an opponent grabbed my braid in a match: I went to an edgy bob and kept the color. I refused contacts, so my gray eyes stayed. No piercings until after physical training was over. One tattoo that spanned my entire back - a fiery phoenix in flight. My namesake.

Stage two of training involved fear simulations and it was rough on everyone, even more so than the physical aspect of training. To have your worst fears imaginable presented time and time again was emotionally draining. I found my leader, Four, to be more than his stoic demeanor led to believe. He was always supportive and gentle, a knowing look in his eyes when I'd come back to reality. "It's okay, Phoenix, you're here, this is real," he'd tell me as I fought to grasp my surroundings. For some reason, unknown to us this very day, we formed an odd friendship and I was grateful. Because I was still a trainee, he showed no favoritism in public or with the others, which suited me just fine.

Finally, life was good. I had friends that I counted as family, even though we beat the shit out of each other on a daily basis, my body was amazing and I could alter my appearance however I wanted without fear of disappointing anyone, and I was able to speak my mind without repercussion. I didn't think life could get any better.

I was wrong.

The day of my final fear simulation and test to become a full fledged Dauntless member was nerve wracking. More than jumping off the train for the first time, the first days of training, or anything else they had thrown at us. This was it. All my hard work had to pay off or I'd be factionless. Squashing the urge to throw up as I waited my turn, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "You'll do fine," came Four's low voice as he gave me a squeeze before moving towards the test room.

Running a hand through my hair, I paced back and forth in front of the double doors, reassuring myself that yes, I had good, no great, test scores in combat and yes, I had good time in the fear sims, so no, I shouldn't have anything to worry about. Squashing the urge to hurl, I flinched when one of the doors opened and Eric stepped out.

His ice cold eyes swept over my form, a corner of his mouth curling upwards. "You look like shit, initiate."

"Are you ever going to call me by my name?" I snapped back, on edge, my previous nervousness momentarily forgotten. This whole time he had never said my name and it irked me to no end.

He stepped towards me and I glared up at him, the top of my head barely reaching his chin. He was so close I could feel the heat emanating off his body, causing my stomach to flip. _What the hell?_ Eric was beyond hot and I'd be a complete liar if I said I hadn't noticed that fact the entire time I'd been training, but relationships of any sort between leaders and trainees was prohibited and I was too focused on proving that I was Dauntless material to worry about anything of the sort anyway.

"I'll call you by your name when you're screaming mine," he said softly, his lips ghosting over my ear. When did he get so close? I felt my face heat up and quickly shoved him backwards, scoffing. "Cute, Eric, real cute. Guess that means I'll always be initiate, since you're obviously insane to think that I'll ever sleep with you."

"We'll see," he replied with a cocky grin. "You're up."

"What?" I asked dumbly. He gestured to the door and I swallowed before squaring my shoulders and stepping forward. This was it. I muttered a quick thank you to my leader for holding the door open and distracting me, though I was suspicious of his intentions for doing the latter. Taking a seat in the chair centered in the middle of the room and leaning back, I barely winced as someone injected the serum in my neck. Ignoring all the greats in the room, I closed my eyes and waited for darkness.

I did it. Coming out of my sim and seeing Four's smiling face told me everything I needed to know. All my previous pain, all the hours put in, were worth it. The official results were posted the next day and I couldn't stop smiling - I had made it into the final three. Four gave me a hug for the first time and I laughed, squeezing him back.

I had the option for leadership and eagerly took it, the only one to do so in the top three. The next six months were spent shadowing other leaders, and learning the political and nitty gritty of my new faction. My 17th birthday came and went, along with my first night with Eric. He had been right, the smug bastard. I screamed his name and he growled mine, bringing me to a level of ecstasy I'd never experienced, over and over again.

Our relationship, if you wanted to call it that, wasn't conventional. We argued. We literally screamed at each other. We physically fought. But we hugged, held hands, and cuddled, believe it or not. The big bad Eric actually had a soft spot that only I got to see and I was honored. Everyone said we were perfect for each other, even Four, and that itself was a miracle since there was no love lost between those two. In all reality, I couldn't picture myself with anyone else.

Within the year, I was a leader alongside my best friend, Four, and my lover, Eric. Life was amazing. I continued to work hard, train hard, and dare I say, love hard. My man wasn't going to be the one to have a traditional relationship with - he was rough, he was stubborn, we still butted heads quite a bit, but he was mine and I was his, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I didn't know what the future would bring, but I was ready.

I had done it. My name is Phoenix and I am Dauntless.


End file.
